Broken

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Hey all~

I just returned from a journey group meeting and felt led to write this post.  Tonight, I visited with a small group (this church calls them journey groups) for a church that I am considering joining.  I found the group to be a wonderful and enlightening experience. 

 

The group is a singles group for ages 19-34.  The group is usually made up of 6-12 people; however, tonight there were only 4 of us.  The leader of the group is a 30 year old single woman from Phoenix, AZ who has been living in Florence for 2 years now.  In the next few weeks this young lady will be moving back to AZ.  Throughout the evening she shared many personal thoughts and experiences behind her desire to leave Florence.  As I listened, I realized that a lot of the issues that she struggles with, so do I.  

She posed the question of, "why is it that we are afraid to show our brokenness to others?"  In other words, when I see a friend and she says, "hey, how are you?"  Instead of saying "good, thanks" why don't I say, "I've been better, I'm tired of being single, I still don't understand why God brought me to Florence, I feel like I'm living in a dream, I'm tired, I'm a bit stressed, I have no idea what I was thinking when I agreed to host this exchange student, I don't feel pretty enough, I really want to go on vacation and I wouldn't mind going on a shopping spree to fill my closet with loads of fabulosity."  

Even though I too play into this idea that my life is perfect and there is never anything wrong, I'm not sure why people do this.  I suppose I do it because I feel like I don't get the "right" to feel down.  My problems aren't big enough to give me the "right" to complain.  Or perhaps I hide my broken self because telling others what is really going on would make me feel vulnerable to them.  Maybe I play this role because in my mind, as a follower of Christ, I am supposed to not worry and despite what is going on be joyous in the Lord at all times.  

Honestly, I don't know why I play this game, but I'm tired of it.  So, here I am, broken.  Fortunately, I know now that I'm not the only broken one in the crowd.  I know that not only are there other broken people around me, but there are broken people around me suffering from the same (or similar) feelings as myself.  So, tonight I have been inspired.  I feel inspired to share with others and not cover up the brokenness.  A wound that's always hidden under a bandage takes much longer to heal than one that is exposed to the open air.  

So, weigh in.  Why do we cover up our "uncomfortable" feelings?  What are your fears?  What is it that you don't say when asked, "how are you?"

Tootles for now....